Wednesday, October 14, 2009

And The Train Halts... Sealed With A Kiss





Dear Blog,

Over the past 4 years, you have been a great companion to me. Ups and downs, the laughters and the tears, I've shared them all with you. Sometimes, it's just random bullshit from me, and sometimes, it's just things that don't make sense. But you were always there, and you took them all in, without saying a single word.

However, with a heavy heart, I've come to the decision of ending our relationship. You no longer satisfy my needs and reluctantly, I have to let you go. I've been seeing someone else for 2 days now and it's going great. I've found a new companion at Wordpress.

People change, all the time. And when they do, I guess there's no choice but to move on. I believe this relationship can no longer work; that both of us should deal with reality. I'm moving on to a fresher, more vibrant, and in all aspects, better environment. I guess in time, you would do too.

So, with this short letter, I hope you'd understand my actions and my decisions. I know it's painful, I know you hurt inside. But let me tell you, I hurt as much as you do. All our memories together will be left here, untouched; and they will live on for many more generations to see. I'll drop by, occasionally, just to catch up and see how you're doing; talk like the old times. It's a promise sealed with a kiss, from me to you.

With love,

Clarence Choong.

P/S: Do drop by my new place, whenever you're free. Here's the address - wengkiandthebrain.wordpress.com.


Just like every train has a destination, and eventually has to stop, Train of Thoughts has reached hers. I hereby officially announce the closure of this blog and the migration to a new blog as stated above. Till then, goodbye!


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Brian Hyland
Sealed With A Kiss

Though we gotta say goodbye for the summer
Darling, I promise you this
I'll send you all my love
Every day in a letter
Sealed with a kiss

Yes it's gonna be a cold, lonely summer
But I'll fill the emptiness
I'll send you all my dreams
Every day in a letter
Sealed with a kiss

I'll see you in the sunlight
I'll hear your voice everywhere
I'll run to tenderly hold you
But darling you won't be there

I don't wanna say goodbye for the summer
Knowing the love we'll miss
So let us take a pledge to meet in September
And seal it with a kiss

Yes it's gonna be a cold, lonely summer
But I'll fill the emptiness
I'll send you all my dreams
Every day in a letter
Sealed with a kiss

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Presenting... Chicken Meat.Chicken Meat Five



Undergraduates from the Faculty of Economics & Administration, University of Malaya, present Statistics II.

Good English:

"By using the Z-test, we can conclude that at a 0.05 level of significance, there is sufficient evidence of a difference in mean for the variables selected."

New English:

"By using the jackass, we can conclude that at a jirou point jirou fi level of significant, there is sufficient evident of a different in mean for the variable selected."

Points To Ponder:

1) Presentations ≠ Assignments. They are supposed to be precise and concise. The lecturer doesn't need another copy of your assignment in powerpoint format.

2) Presenting ≠ Reading. The lecturer and your friends (not all though) are intelligent people. They can read.

3) English ≠ Mandarin. Do not speak loudly and fluently in Mandarin before the presentation. You will mess your languages up.

4) Quantity ≠ Quality. Do not put slides filled to the brim with words and numbers in your presentation. Not all your fellow undergraduates are easily fooled.

5) Speed ≠ Fluency. Reading hastily (or scrolling through slides) without any pauses doesn't show that you're fluent in English. Nor does it show your knowledge. Superman would not have caught a word.

Just some food for thought.

P/S: If you don't know by now, jirou = chicken meat in Mandarin.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009


Muse
Resistance

Is your secret safe tonight?
And are we out of sight?
Or will our world come tumbling down?
Will they find our hiding place?
Is this our last embrace?
Or will the world start caving in?

He could be wrong could be wrong
But he should of been right
He could be wrong could be wrong
Let our hearts ignite
He could be wrong could be wrong
Are we digging a hole?
He could be wrong could be wrong
This is out of control
He could be wrong could be wrong
It could never last
He could be wrong could be wrong
Must you raise it fast?
He could be wrong could be wrong
But he could have been right
He could be wrong could be wrong

Love is our resistance
They'll keep us apart and they won't stop breaking us down
Hold me
Our lips must always be sealed

If we live our life in fear
I'll wait a thousand years
Just to see you smile again
Kill a breath for love and peace
You'll wake the thought police
We can hide the truth inside

He could be wrong could be wrong
But he should have been right
He could be wrong could be wrong
So let our hearts ignite
He could be wrong could be wrong
Are we digging a hole?
He could be wrong could be wrong
This is out of control
He could be wrong could be wrong
It could never last
He could be wrong could be wrong
Must you raise it fast?
He could be wrong could be wrong
But it could have been right
He could be wrong could be wrong

Love is our resistance
They'll keep us apart and they won't stop breaking us down
Hold me
Our lips must always be sealed

The night has reached its end
We can pretend
We must run
We must run
It's time to run

Take us away from here
Protect us from further harm
Resist this!

Friday, September 04, 2009

Train Of Thoughts


Here's what I think of Hishamuddin and his brain (if he has one).

Below are extracts of a news article from Malaysiakini.



Home Minister Hishammuddin Hussein said those involved in the 'cow-head' protest in Shah Alam last week cannot be blamed for the controversy.

Oh, really, Mr. Home Minister sir? Then who should we blame instead? The people who proposed the relocation of the Hindu temple? The innocent residents of Shah Alam? The poor, mutilated cow head? Or somehow, God knows why, Pakatan Rakyat? This is a completely retarded, contradicting statement made by Hishamuddin. It's just as good as saying "Don't blame the murderer for the murder." Yeah, blame the victim instead!

...he [Hishamuddin] said the protesters “had no intention at all to bring the cow's head and invoke racial sentiments or cause tension”.

Right. Somehow, these culprits forgot that the cow is considered sacred to the Indian community. And so, they butchered a cow, dragged its head to the protest, spat, and stepped on it. You see, you can't blame them because so happened, the price of cows went down significantly just one day before their protest. Ain't a cheap and huge animal just perfectly convenient for a religious protest as such? Draws attention to their demands efficiently, eh? You bet, darlings! Blame it on Economics, dear Mr. Home Minister sir!

“They are not going (to be let off) scot-free. But they just feel victimised because they feel there is another valid explanation and had no intention to cause racial (divisions),” he said.

Yes, yes. We are all very confident with your sense of justice, Hishamuddin. These extremists are not going scot-free. They will be let off with a stern warning considering the "fact" that they too are victims in this fracas. And mind you, a VERY stern warning indeed. But why did these "victims" choose to protest over a religious (specifically the Hindu religion) issue using a cow's head? Why not another animal instead? Like chicken or fish? Expensive? No. Controversial? No. Mobile? Yes. Effective? Then again, no. Who would've given a damn if these protesters used a chicken head instead? Nobody. No, cow heads draw attention like Paris Hilton in a marketplace. Therefore, its usage is justified. Now everybody has something to say about this protest. They are making news! Mission completed! And no, creating racial divisions is never one of their objectives. All they wanted was a little fame and popularity.

Hishammuddin said he was told that the “residents did not know the organisers and did not know a cow's head would be brought during the demonstration”.

I do not know how far this statement is true. But I will never ever give Hishamuddin benefit of the doubt because he doesn't deserve it. Not with all his Keris wielding antics fresh in our memories. I'm sure some of the residents were innocent, but definitely not all. Come on, these bloody protesters are the residents themselves!

“When we sat and discussed this, they (said they) realised that they were in a situation they could not control.”

Yeah, I'm pretty sure they had this obsessive compulsion with cow heads that they could not control their overwhelming urge to spit and step on God's creation. Why, they must be waging hell of a war within themselves. And the devil inside won.


He further defended the protesters, saying that “they just wanted their voices to be heard”.

“All they wanted to do was to voice their unhappiness and the unwillingness of the state government to consider their request.”

Well, all we heard was a bunch of twisted, sick, demented extremists calling for bloodshed in this country. To me, they are no better than the bloodthirsty Orcs who lust for war in the history of Warcraft. Believe me, the seed of hatred has been sown in this country, among the different races. And it takes just one stupid incident for that to happen. There are many other ways to be heard. Wearing black, candelight vigils, marching and submitting memorandums but definitely not this way.


“However it was unfortunate that the protest was given negative publicity because it was linked to religious and racial sentiments,” he said.

So now, according to our ever wise Mr. Home Minister, the media is to be blamed for painting this issue black. The media is responsible for inciting hatred and creating racial tensions due to their tendency to exaggerate things. ARE YOU STUPID, HISHAMUDDIN? When the media reports facts, it's called negative publicity. No wonder we never get any decent news through mainstream media. They are all filtered and carved to your pleasure for positive publicity. And so, we get LIES and not FACTS. Just like how you want us to believe that you waving the Keris at the UMNO Youth General Assembly was merely to dig your shit-full nose.

“So if it can be resolved quickly and both sides understand each other, why (should) they be penalised?” said Hishammuddin.

Let me slap you, Hishamuddin, and then give you an elaborate explanation of my action. In return, you tell me in detail why you disapprove of my action so that we have a mutual understanding. Then, let me slap you again and don't ask questions or ask for actions to be taken against me. Dear Mr. Home Minister, every action has its consequences. It's time to wake up, and live in the now, sir. Your very statement defines your concept of a country where anybody can do anything without any consequences as long as they understand each other. Didn't you mention that none of the protesters are going scot-free? And now you're asking why should they be penalised? Dino brain.

Although the protestors reportedly did not have a permit the minister said “the protest was not big and they (organisers) were very respectful of the Selangor sultan”.

“They even limited the number of people from the committee to only 10. In fact if they wanted to have a bigger protest they could have, but they were conscious (of the impact).

What in the world has this got to do with the Sultan of Selangor? Is he a Hindu? The question should rather be: Were they respectful of the Indian community? Did they consider the sentiments of other races before protesting? Is this a subtle threat, Hishamuddin? In other words, are you saying, "Don't mess with these protesters. Just drop the issue. Or it's gonna go big-scale."? Whether it's a big or small protest, it really doesn't matter. The impact of any protest doesn't lie in the number of people involved but rather the nature and implementation of the protest itself. If they were really conscious of the impact, this cow head protest wouldn't have happened. The very reason this protest is fatal and damaging to our country is how it was done. Period.

“Even the Hindus are not passionate about the relocation of the temple to the area,” he claimed.

Now he blames the Selangor government for the poor decision. Why can't the temple be relocated to a predominantly Malay area? Are you Malays that racist? You gonna kill every single Indian you see walking your streets and breathing your air? It's just madness. This conservative, extremist mentality is just what Malaysia does not need at this moment. And you claim to speak for all the Hindus. Interview them, get their names, and publish their statements. Even if the Hindus in that area are not passionate about the relocation, it doesn't mean they are not passionate about their religion. It doesn't justify one bit what these crazy ass protesters did, which was a downright major insult to the nationwide Indian community.

On a personal note, Hishammuddin felt the protest “in this day and age should be accepted in this world, as the people want their voices to be heard”.

“If we don't give them room to voice their opinions, they have no choice but to protest. (But) regardless of the action they take, they have to adhere to the laws of the country. So they have to be responsible,” he said.

So, cow head protests should be accepted around the world? Go do it in the middle of Bombay, dear Mr. Home Minister. The government is suppressing freedom of speech and opinion. That was why so many PEACEFUL protests took place. Why didn't you, Hishamuddin, stand up for those people? But you choose to side with this violent group of fanatics. Aren't you a big, fat, huge hypocrite? What you say is utter bullshit, just to please the ignorant public. Go fix your political masters if you mean what you say.


The police, he added, will investigate the incident to identify who brought the cow's head to the protest, in addition to conducting their usual probe into the protest because “no one is above the law”

Investigate? Is that all they can do given their capacity of power? The police acted swiftly and instantly whenever there were protests. Peaceful ones, mind you. Where were the tear gas and batons we were all waiting to see in the cow head protest? Investigate? Big deal. Peaceful protests, with quite a significant number of people (played down by the mainstream media), and yet the police were able to identify and cuff the people they need to on the spot. But now? Heck, we even have photos and videos of the person stepping on the cow's head (with protesters around) and no arrests were made? On the spot? One day after? Two days after? Given that this was just a small protest, according to you, why is it so difficult to identify the culprits? No one is above the law? Oh no. You, Hishamuddin, is above the law because you bend the law to your will. And the same goes for your cow head protest friends.

Hishamuddin, you are a disgrace to mankind, our nation, and your father. You are the reason why 1Malaysia will always remain a dream far too big for the dreamer.

You should just step down.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

What else should I be?
All apologies.
What else could I say?
Everyone is gay.
What else could I write?
I don't have the right.
What else should I be?
All apologies.

In the sun
In the sun I feel as one
In the sun
In the sun
Married!
Buried!

I wish I was like you
Easily amused
Find my nest of salt
Everything is my fault
I'll take all the blame
Aqua seafoam shame
Sunburn with freezer burn
Choking on the ashes of her enemy

In the sun
In the sun I feel as one
In the sun
In the sun
Married, Married, Married!
Buried!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

All in all is all we are [x20]

Monday, August 03, 2009

A day in the life of a lecturer.

Yes, sir! I'm sure there aren't any easier or simpler words such as TOLERATION!

Yes, sir! We know you're VERY SICK that's why you FORGOT to prepare for class!

Yes, sir! We believe you're not LAZY but you just don't feel very well every week!

Yes, sir! Have a GOOD SLEEP while we stay guard for you! We'll throw UM car stickers if we see Ghauth Jasmon coming in!

Fin.

I am from the infamous UNIVERSITI MALAYA!

Great administration, great services, great facilities, GREAT VC!

All hail GHAUTH JASMON!

All hail his student's-welfare-first policies!

It's raining car stickers in UM!

Grab one with your buttcrack now while stocks last!

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

100 is a number.

Every time you make a choice you are turning the central part of you, the part of you that chooses, into something a little different from what it was before. And taking your life as a whole, with all your innumerable choices, all your life long you are slowing turning this central thing either into a heavenly creature or into a hellish creature.

C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity.

It begins with a grumbling mood, and yourself still distinct from it: perhaps criticizing it. And yourself, in a dark hour, may will that mood, embrace it. You can repent and come out of it again. But there may come a day when you can do that no longer. Then there will be no you left to criticize the mood, nor even to enjoy it, but just the grumble itself going on forever like a machine.

C.S. Lewis, The Great Divorce.

Finality must come sometime.

C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

A Great Flaw

This is the original article (with the title) I wrote and sent to Malaysiakini.

You can read the published one here.

I am a second year student in UM. I am writing this to express my discontent over a prevailing issue in Universiti Malaya. I would narrate a recent experience to emphasise my point. Just yesterday, on a Sunday evening, I was pulled over by the security guard at the KL gate. I was told by the guard rudely that if I wanted to go to PJ, I’d have to take a big round instead of passing through UM; even if I’m a student of Universiti Malaya. Right up to here, everything seems fine and the guard seems perfectly justified. But what I’m puzzled over is how random and inconsistent these security checks are; laced with heavy double standards. I understand perfectly that 1st and 2nd year students are not allowed to bring their vehicles into campus in order to reduce the traffic. However, this was never implemented with consistency and most of the time, everyone is allowed to pass through UM without as much as a question. The enactment of this policy was a wrong move to begin with; what more the failed implementation. Administration in UM should understand that they do not have enough places in their residential colleges for everyone to stay in campus. That is why three quarter of 2nd and 3rd year students have to live outside. And not all students staying outside of campus have direct access to public transport to get to class. And so, some of these students enjoy the privilege of having their own cars as a mean of transport. However, now we face another problem. If we’re not allowed to bring our cars into the campus, how are we supposed to get to class? What with the high food and lodging costs of staying outside, now we have to take a taxi to the nearest bus or LRT station every single day to get to UM just because we’re not allowed to bring our cars into campus even though we have one?

I strongly believe that the administration should have thought of this before enacting and implementing ineffective and half the time, inactive policies as such. And because of the inconsistency of the policy’s implementation, students are often confused about the legitimacy of bringing their vehicles into campus. But we still do it anyway out of desperation, and most of the time, we do get away with it. What I suggest here is the eradication of this policy so that students are no longer stopped randomly just because the security guard at the gate feels like it on that particular day or the security guard on shift is a hardworking one who doesn’t slack in upholding the institution’s policies. I believe that UM students, most of the time with the only intent of attending lectures (even for the purpose of bypassing traffic), should be allowed to bring their vehicles into campus and utilise its roads.

With that in light, I also question UM’s policy concerning the public’s use of its gates. Is the public allowed to use the roads in UM or only people who have serious business in UM? I think everyone can agree that every day, a great number of road users utilise the compounds of UM to pass from PJ to KL or vice versa in order to avoid the traffic in Federal Highway. But these people were never stopped; almost all time. Why weren’t these people stopped by the security guard at the gate? Why wasn’t the man driving a Mercedes Benz stopped while I, a student of Universiti Malaya, was stopped and questioned rudely like a criminal? People with nice, collared shirt driving big, expensive cars are allowed to pass from KL to PJ through UM grounds while trendy looking youths driving economical Peroduas have to be questioned and let through with a warning never to use the road again. Isn’t this a display of double standards at its highest?

Therefore, I hope that the administration come up with a clear policy with effective implementation on these two issues: UM students bringing their vehicles into the campus and utilising its roads, and the public use of UM’s roads. ONE, either you stop and question every single person entering UM, allowing students or those with business in UM to pass through, or TWO, you open the roads for public use. I believe the former would be a crazy idea to even be considered as we already have a major traffic jam at both the KL and PJ gates during peak hours in the evening. I hope that this seemingly little but important issue is brought to the attention of people who have the power to do something about it and resolved as soon as possible.

Clarence Choong
2nd year student of UM

Friday, June 26, 2009

Michael's Death

“It seemed to me that his internal essence was at war with the norms of the world. It’s as if he was trying to defy gravity."

Michael Levine, Hollywood publicist


Looking back, I still vividly remember my first blog post.

It was about Michael Jackson.

Never thought I'd have to write a post on his death 4 years after that first post.

Never thought it would end today.

You shattered the barriers of black and white with your music.

You were above what we foolishly term "race".

King of Pop?

I'd say Man of Passion.

Thank you.

No matter what they say, you'd always be defying gravity.

Rest in peace.


Michael Jackson

August 29, 1958 – June 25, 2009

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Jamie Scott & The Town
When Will I See Your Face Again

(Verse)

Here I am, everyday, 
Since you said, you'd come again, 
But it's not fair, cos you're not here, 
I wait in vain, but nothing has chaaanged, 

I'm a flower, soaking in the rain, 
If I could wish one thing, I'd hear you call my name, 

(Chorus) 

So when will I see your face again, 
When will you touch my life again (ohh yeah), 
When will I breathe you in again (ha), 
I think I love youuu...will I see your face again, 

(2nd Verse) 

Little thing, like the rain coming, 
She looked at me a certain kind of way, 
Tell me girl, where are you nowww, 
'Cos I don't know how much longer I can waaait, 

I'm a dreamer, waiting for the sun, 
When you're coming in, I know my life's begun, 
Tell me girl... 

(Chorus) 

When will I see your face again,(ohh yeaaah), 
When will you touch my life again (ummm um), 
When will I breathe you in again, 
I think I love youuu, will I see your face again, 

(Bridge) 

You know that all my life I've been waaaiting, 
Waiting for sooome, someone like you to love me, 
You can't come by like an angel, into my life, 
And then fly awaaaay, flyyyyyy away, 

Oh honey, cos I, uh baby, ba ba doo yeah, ohh ohhhh, 
Sing, I've only seen youuu, oh, I said, uh huh, I said I said, yeah (woo) 

(Chorus) 

When will I see your face again (I wanna see you once in my life), 
When will you touch my life again, (I wanna see you twice in my life), 
When will I breathe you in again (ohhh), 
I think I love youuu, will I see your face again, 

I said, see bap pa da doo ba ba (ohhh), 
Bap ba doo yeah, that's what we do yeaahhh (ohh), 
When will I see your face again my friend, 
Oh yeah, I think you gotta let me know yeah, 
Ohh yeahhh...

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Questions Rudyard Kipling Forgot To Ask

If you have an obsession to steal, would you offer to safeguard your neighbour's treasures?

If you have a tendecy to lie, would you tell your best friend the truth under pressure?

If you have an exotic taste for Chinese delicacy, would you stare at your dog in hunger?

If you have a twisted compulsion to kill, would you be around your family members?

If you have an impulsive heart which fluctuates, would you dare to love, and love forever?

Sunday, June 14, 2009

How I Discovered I Was A Mutant

14th June 2009

It all started on a calm Sunday morning. I woke up at about 0715 to prepare for morning worship in church. As usual, I took my bath. Before we continue on, let me briefly explain certain necessary facts. The water piping system in every house differs. For mine, the shower and the tap share a common pipeline. This means that the usage of one affects the other. For example, if I'm using the shower and at the same time, I turn on the basin tap, the volume of water that flows out from the shower head will be disrupted and reduced. It's a very basic and common theory; thus, never really caught my attention before this. However, a strange occurence this morning compelled me to record this down; in the event anything untoward happens to me.

Let's pick up from where we stopped. As I was bathing, I turned on the tap to rinse my mouth. As expected (inferred from the theory above), less water flowed out from the shower head I was holding. I carried on bathing without much notice until I decided to take a leak. I was holding the shower head while urinating when I realised the flow of water was still disrupted. I turned my head around to check if I left the tap running; strange enough, I didn't. And so, mildly surprised, I decided to put the shower head back in place. When I did that, things returned to normal. Dismissing some ridiculous ideas in my head, I concluded that the piping system was probably messed up.

The water was a little too cold in the morning. I turned the water heater on and resumed bathing. After awhile, a warm feeling enveloped my body. The joy of heater, I thought. It felt good at first but when it gradually grew warmer, I began to feel uncomfortable. Thinking it was the water, I tried adjusting the heat level - to no avail. Soon, the warmth turned into a burning sensation and I turned the shower off altogether. I began to freak out when the heat did not subside. In a moment of panic, I rushed out of the shower and managed to turn the heater off before I was barbecued alive.

I told my mom I wasn't feeling too well for church that day and locked myself in the room. In my towel, I sat and thought to myself. After one too many ideas flooded my mind, I could no longer sit and think. I plucked my courage and went into the bathroom. With one hand, I held the shower head. I turned the water on and the flow was normal. Then, I took a deep breath and started to urinate. To my horror, the flow of water was disrupted and significantly reduced. I was functioning like the basin tap! I did another experiment with the heater and achieved the expected results. I soon realised that my body hacked into every system I was in contact with and fused with it. Stunned and speechless, I walked out of the bathroom a naked man.

I do not yet know the extent of my powers in detail but what I do know is that I could no longer live in the same community anymore. I had to leave. I put some clothes on, packed my stuff, wrote a note, and left the house before my mom came home. In that note, it says:

Dear Mom,

I'm sorry to leave on such a short notice but it's a decision I have to make with a heavy heart. I'm not sure if you were aware of this or you were hiding my true origins from me all along. I found out today that I'm different from all of you and I could no longer live in a community of normal beings. If I stay, my true nature would soon be exposed and chaos would follow. I do not want to put the family at risk; most importantly, put you at risk with the authorities and the inconsiderate majority living in fear of my kind. I do not want to endanger you, mom. Time is running out. Live well.

With love,

Clarence.

And so, I walk a lonely road in search of answers, my brethren, and acceptance.

The road of a mutant.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

The Times, They Are a-Changing

Movie Carnival 2009 was a great experience. With a group of friends, I signed up for this 10-days-job. Tiring but nonetheless, every moment was worth it. Throughout these 10 days, I learnt many valuable lessons. Lessons on life which I thought I already knew.

If you've seen some of the photos I uploaded in Facebook, you might be wondering what my job actually was. Well, my job scope actually covers the movie patrol; none of that which you saw in those photos. Basically, I go around with 2 other colleagues, playing games, asking movie trivias, and giving out freebies; including free movie tickets! But hey, it wasn't an easy job. In fact, it was tough and embarassing. Especially when there were no people around and you have to talk to the air yelling "Free stuff!" It also pissed me off when people treated us with the disgust they usually lash on a salesperson. Some even walk away without looking at us, as if we were invisible. But I have the last laugh. You stupid people missed out on all the freebies. You people will never enjoy any good and free stuff in life. You will always live with a protective shell around you. Uneducated kiasu cynics. Go live in Singapore.

And throughout this period, I got to know many people. Call me a "katak di bawah tempurung" but I never realised the culture now is so different. Quoting Bob Dylan, the times, they really are a-changing. Smoking is no longer a taboo (even for girls) and tattoos are as common as piercings. I'm not stereotyping, I'm not discriminating, but I'm living on principles. I don't consider smoking morally wrong; there's not even any direct verses in the Bible which forbid smoking. But being a Christian, I do not want to be a stumbling block to people around me. Plus, smoking kills. Yes, I'm a Christian and I'm not ashamed to be one. So, when I found out that both my colleagues smoke, I had to detach myself from the group; often joining my friends in the Superhero Factory whenever there's free time.

Now, don't get me wrong. They were nice and fun people and it was great knowing them. However, through the course of our interaction, I came to a conclusion we were people from different worlds. And so, with a barrier in between, the friendship could never go any deeper than a superficial one. Nevertheless, I would always consider the paths worth crossing.

Throughout this period, I also realised that only by living together will you discover how one differs from the other. 5 of us, we were living under the same roof; 5 with very different characters and believe me, there were unhappiness even for the short time. However, I learnt to give and take. Though I may not say it quite as much, I always knew who my true friends were. Here, I want to especially thank Kin Wai. In the way you treated me and Wee Keng, I can't help but be moved by your sincerity. I never knew you quite so well before this but I think I do now; a little more at least. You are a true friend. You have a character that I salute.  

Many years have passed, many people have changed. And I've seen many principles compromised and slain by the unrelenting peer pressure. But the core of the problem never was the people. The problem lies with the individual. Nothing is beyond control. It's a choice. I do not want to be conformed to this world. I want be transformed by the renewing spirit of the mind. But how can I be transformed when I'm a weak and struggling Christian? And hence, I fear for myself; how long can I live on my principles? Will I too change one day? Will I see myself walking down the road of conformity in years to come? Uncertainty is the heart of fear. And fear is the heart of every man.

I want the power to change; for better, not for worse. The power to change not only me but the people around me. I want to conform without compromising my principles and values. I want to be a Jew to the Jews, a Gentile to the Gentiles. I want to conform in the way that I may have the power to transform.

I want the city on the hill to be seen.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Oh, I Actually Got Tagged? =)

Apologies for the lack of posts lately. It's been all lyrics for the last few posts. Previously was in the holiday mood and currently, working. So, don't really have that blogging feel or the mind to think.

Anyway, just had a minor accident driving my friend's car. Feeling really bad now. Waiting for him to come back and face the music. Gruesome one hour; so I thought I'll do this (tagged by Angel) just to get my mind off things. Exhausted, can't focus while driving and can't seem to think now.

"100" Truths
Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 100 Truths about you. At the end, choose 5 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.

I don't care bout this shit on top.

WHAT WAS YOUR :

1. Last beverage: Coke.
2. Last phone call: Wee Keng.
3. Last text message: Kin Wai.
4. Last song you listened to: Me Muero by Utada.
5. Last time you cried: Just today, in my dreams.

HAVE YOU EVER :
6. Dated someone twice: Define date?
7. Been cheated on: Guess so.
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: -
9. Lost someone special: Yes.
10. Been depressed: Rarely.
11. Been drunk and threw up: Drunk, never; threw up, yes.

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS :

12. Black.
13. White.
14. Red.

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU : (2009)

15. Made a new friend: Yeah.
16. Fallen out of love: Love is not something you fall into and out of.
17. Laughed until you cried: No.
18. Met someone who changed you: Change always come from within.
19. Found out who your true friends were: Always knew.
20. Found out someone was talking about you: Who cares.
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: -
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: Unimportant.
23. How many kids do you want to have: 2 boys, 2 girls.
24. Do you have any pets: Sasha.
25. Do you want to change your name: No.
26. What did you do for your last birthday: Celebrate.
27. What time did you wake up today: 10.15 am.
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: DotA-ing.
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: My friend to reach home now.
30. Last time you saw your Mother: 26th  May 2009.
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Nothing.
32. What are you listening to right now: Utada.
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: No.
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: Me being dreamy and careless.
35. Most visited webpage: Alot.
36. Whats your real name: Clarence Choong Weng Ki.
37. Nicknames: Wide range.
38. Relationship Status: Single.
39. Zodiac sign: Scorpio.
40. Male or female?: Male.
41. Elementary?: What's elementary? Don't know.
42. Middle School?: St. Michael 2, Ipoh.
43. High school/college?: St. Michael's Institution, Ipoh.
44. Hair colour: Black.
45. Long or short: Messy.
46. Height: Short.
47. Do you have a crush on someone?: Yeah, his name is Clarence.
48. What do you like about yourself?: Everything.
49. Piercings: 1.
50. Tattoos: Birth marks counted?
51. Righty or lefty: Stupid question.

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: Stitching and stuff counted?
53. First piercing: 2008.
54. First best friend: Never had one.
55. First sport you joined: Never remembered.
56. First vacation: -
58. First pair of trainers: -

RIGHT NOW :
59. Eating: Nothing.
60. Drinking: Nothing.
61. I'm about to: Kill myself for denting my friend's car.
62. Listening to: On & On by Utada.
63. Waiting on: The world to change.

YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids?: Yeah.
65. Get Married?: Why not?
66. Career?: Definitely.

WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes: Depends on what it's used for.
68. Hugs or kisses: Kicks, punches and slaps.
69. Shorter or taller: If everyone is equal in height.
70. Older or Younger: Immortality.
71. Romantic or spontaneous: Intellectual.
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: Nice character.
73. Sensitive or loud: Charismatic introvert.
74. Hook-up or relationship: Friendship.
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: Outlaw for a cause.

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: -
77. Drank hard liquor: Yeah.
78. Lost glasses/contacts: Broken got.
79. Sex on first date: I'm no whore.
80. Broken someone's heart: -
82. Been arrested: -
83. Turned someone down: -
84. Cried when someone died: Yeah.
85. Fallen for a friend?: -

DO YOU BELIEVE IN :

86. Yourself: Always.
87. Miracles: In a different context.
88. Love at first sight: No.
89. Heaven: Yeah.
90. Santa Claus: Screw him.
91. Kiss on the first date: -
92. Angels: Yeah.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY :
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: No.
95. Did you sing today?: Yeah.
96. Ever cheated on somebody?: No.
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: Before 2001.
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?: It would be stupid.
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: -
100. Posting this as 100 truths?: You fail your maths if there are 100 questions.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Everywhere someone's getting over
Everybody cries
And sometimes you can still lose even if you really try
Talking about the dream
Like the dream is over
Talk like that
Won't get you nowhere
Everybody's trusting in the heart
Like the heart don't lie

And that's all that I need, yeah
Someone else to cling to, yeah
Someone I can lean on
Until I don't need to
Just stay all through the night
And in the morning let me down
Cause that's all that I need right now

Everywhere someone's getting over
Everybody's life is someone
People still use other people with a crooked smile
And all around the world there's a sinking feeling
Out there right now someone's feeling
Down on themselves and don't know why
Every night

And that's all that I need, yeah
Someone else to cling to, yeah
Someone I can lean on
Until I don't need to
Just stay all through the night, yeah
And in the morning let me down
Cause that's all that I need right now

And life ain't no beauty show
We don't know where tomorrow ends
And when we're sad
It's kind of a drag

Just stay all through the night
And in the morning let me down
Yeah, cause that's all that I need
Yeah, that's all that I need
Yeah, that's all that I need
That's all that I need right now
Right now

Monday, May 25, 2009

Now hush little baby don't you cry
Every thing's gonna be all right
Stiffin' that upper lip up little lady I told ya 
I'm here to hold ya through the night

Smile. =)

Friday, May 22, 2009

¡Viva la Gloria!


Hey Gloria, are you standing close to the edge 
Look out to the setting sun 
The brink of your vision 
Eternal youth is a landscape of the lie 
The cracks on my skin can prove 
As the years will testify 
Say your prayers and light a fire 
We're going to start a war 
Your slogans a gun for hire 
It’s what we waited for 
Hey Gloria, this is why we're on the edge 
The fight of our lives been drawn to this undying love. 

Gloria, viva la Gloria 
You blast your name in graffiti on the walls 
Falling through broken glass that’s 
Slashing through your spirit 
I can hear it like a jilted crowd 
Gloria, where are you Gloria? 
You found a home in all your scars and ammunition 
You made your bed in salad days amongst the ruin 
Ashes to ashes of our youth

She smashed her knuckles into winter 
As autumns wind fades into black 
Ahe is the saint on all the sinners 
The one that’s fallen through the cracks 
So don’t put away your burning light 

Gloria, where are you Gloria? 
Don’t lose your faith to your lost naivete 
Weather the storm and don’t look back on last November 
When your banners were burning down 

Gloria, viva la Gloria 
Send me your amnesty down to the broken hearted 
Bring us the season that we always will remember 
Don’t let the bonfires go out 

So Gloria, 
Send out your message of the light that shadows in the night. 
Gloria, where’s your undying love? 
Tell me your story of your life.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Of Sunshine And Rain

And you think that sunshine follows after a rain? Think again.

After all the circus that happened in Ipoh, the Rakyat finally rejoiced yesterday when the High Court ruled that Nizar is the rightful Menteri Besar of Perak. People began to see the silver-lining they have all been looking out for. Finally, public confidence in the independence of the Malaysian judiciary can be restored. Or so we thought.

Of course, we thought that the decision has already been made when Sivakumar was thrown out like a drunkard on Thursday and knowing how corrupted everything is; but all credits go to Justice Abdul Aziz Abd Rahim for his courage and fairness. However, today, all hopes were dashed when the Court of Appeal suddenly became ultra efficient and granted Zambry's application for stay through a single judge; Perak returns to square one. The Silver State is now in a greater impasse than it already is; from two Menteri Besar to practically none. What a limbo!  

How independent is the judiciary then? How much of justice and fairness can we expect from this present judiciary? I dare not say. I believe that ultimately, justice only prevails when power is returned to the Rakyat. Dissolve the State Legislative Assembly and let the people vote. No more of this constitutional crisis as to who is the legitimate Menteri Besar of Perak. But will the Sultan of Perak consent to the dissolution of the State Legislative Assembly this time? I dare not hope anymore. I dare not pre-rejoice as politics in Malaysia has proven that sunshines don't come after a rain.

Friday, May 08, 2009

The Conversation


Mr.B: Ya know sir, it's time we let them boys out by now. It's gettin' a lil' crowded in there.

Mr.C: Look, Mr.B, I told you. There's no place to let them out here, understand? I've looked.

Mr.B: Naye, sir. You've never gotten up from that seat of yours ever since ya sat down. I suggest we start gettin' up and go a-lookin'.

Mr.C: I said, I've looked! I saw people getting up, okay? Can you stop antangonising me man? Give me some space would you?

Mr.B: Alright, sir. Your wish is my command.

(A moment of awkward silence)

Mr.B: Say, sir. Don't you feel uncomfortable keepin' them boys in for so long?

Mr.C: Oh, for Pete's sake, Mr.B! Stop with the questions already! I'm not exactly having fun here if you will understand. But we've got no choice alright?

Mr.B: Them boys are gettin' more with time if you notice, sir.

Mr.C: Yes, I understand, Mr.B. I've done what I can to reduce their growth rate. Now, if you would just leave me alone for a moment, would you?

Mr.B: Alright, alright. Your call, sir. Totally.

(Another moment of awkward silence)

Mr.B: Say, sir. You wouldn't wanna push them boys to the limit. They might just break out in a revolt and embarass you, sir.

Mr.C: I'll be an old man for that to happen.

Mr.B: You will be one day, sir.

Mr.C: Would you just shut up? I'm young, strong, and healthy right now. And I have total control. There's nothing you can do about it so quit whining.

Mr.B: Not so much of me, sir. Them boys are doin' the whining. I'm just speakin' out for them.

Mr.C: Look, I'm the one taking the bumps and I'm the one keeping them in. What are your complains?

Mr.B: Ain't no complains sir. If you would just get up...

Mr.C: Oh, for the last time, Mr.B! I told you, this is an Economy Class! Can't you understand??

Mr.B: Alright, sir. Calm down. You wouldn't want them boys to spill out.

Mr.C: If you would just be a little more cooperative here, it would help alot.

Mr.B: How so, sir?

Mr.C: Just shut up, give me a peace of mind, and I'll let the boys out in a nice place when we reach later. You'd feel better and I'd feel better. How bout that?

Mr.B: Sounds good to me, sir. We ain't got no choice anyways as you put it.

(A last moment of awkward silence)

Mr.B: Don't blame me if I can't work one day and you have to let them boys out every ten minutes when you're 60, sir.

Try holding your piss for 3 hours on a train. You bladder would start talking to you too.

Monday, May 04, 2009

The 8-Questions Theory Expounded

SPOILERS AHEAD

As we all know, many Facebook addicts are hyped over the "How Well Do You Know XXX?" quiz. I got sucked into it as well; not of my own free will (in a way) as I never wish to be conformed to the majority. However, I did Chooi Yee's quiz and I scored badly; it can be justified though because her questions don't evaluate how much you really know a person. In the midst of our argument with each other, I challenged her and hey, presto!; a quiz of my own. I devised the quiz in such a way that all questions were scenario-based. For me, asking someone how many siblings I have is not a question that can evaluate how much the person knows about me. And so, I created a pure personality quiz; if Chooi Yee scores badly (which she did), I'd feel less guilty in a way.

Below were the 8 questions I ingeniously made (right answers are in italic and bold). Let's take a stroll through my park of questions and I'll justify the answers to your satisfaction (hey, it rhymes!?).

1) An old man/pregnant woman boards a packed LRT. I will

a) get up and willingly give up my seat.
b) joke and laugh about it with my friends.
c) be ignorant; what happens around me doesnt matter. 
d) avoid any eye contacts; lest i should feel guilty.
e) be ashamed of the selfish people around me.

Alright, many actually chose a) as the answer. Well, thank you for having such good perception of me but I tend to be apathetic to these little things. Call me heartless but hey, that's an honest evaluation of myself. I wouldn't give my seat up for the world especially in a packed LRT. There will always be this kind soul who would do it and that kind soul's just ain't me. I'm essentially selfish by nature, you see.

2) Given a choice, I will

a) be in the Mass Communications line.
b) be a film/movie director or scriptwriter.
c) be a full-time worker/missionary.
d) be in a rock band. 
e) still want to be an economist.

Well, many got this right; nothing much to dispute about. It's a tough call, personally, for me to choose the right answer myself but for those who chose a), yes, you're close. Missed by an inch I would say but music has always been my passion, if you don't know by now. If you chose e), WOAH, just so you know, I didn't exactly CHOOSE to do Economics in UM.  

3) It's my last day on earth. I will

a) approach the girl I like and confess to her.
b) eat all the good food I can.
c) travel around the world.
d) curse and swear because I never had enough fun.
e) love like never before. 

I know I curse alot but isn't d) abit ridiculous? Why, you guys must think I'm a foul-mouthed brat! Dude, if it's really my last day, I'd be repenting instead of doing something idiotic as said in d). I'm hedonistic by nature but if it's Ragnarok, I'd make sure it's well spent; NOT in self-indulgence. 

4) In my world, there are only two choices. I will prefer

a) cold over heat. 
b) solitude over people.
c) games over studies.
d) thirst over hunger.
e) girls over friends.

Again, I drowned myself in a sea of tough choices. Eventually, I concluded a) would most accurately define me. I'd rather die of cold than heat anytime man. Some chose b), some c). But well, as much as I enjoy solitude, people satisfy a different level altogether in my hierarchy of needs (Maslow's Theory). Admit it; we're all social creatures. The same goes for c). As much as I despise studying, it's essential to my future as person and therefore, it's not something I'd give up just because I love fun as much as I hate studying.   

5) I did something terribly wrong. I tend to

a) remain silent and hope no one notices.
b) stubbornly refuse to admit my mistake.
c) swallow my pride and apologise.
d) justify and reason from my perspective. 
e) be apathetic; everyone has differing views.

Now, I must say I feel a little flattered when most chose c) as the answer. Yes, at times I do, but being the egoist that I am, most of the time, I tend to justify and reason from my perspective. I have alot of pride but my pride comes with reason. 

6) I make a promise. Most of the time,

a) I'm a man of my word.
b) I fail to keep it.
c) I forget about it until someone reminds me.
d) I try not to. 
e) janji itu macam tahi. (Shin Chan)

Many believe that I'm a man of my word. Sadly, I failed myself and other people, on countless occassions. Now, I try as much as possible not to make any promises, even if I'm 90% sure that I'll keep it. But when I do, I'm a man of my word. 

7) It's always

a) inner beauty that attracts me first, then outer.
b) outer beauty that attracts me first, then inner. 
c) a combination of inner&outer beauty that matters.
d) the "feel" between two people that matters.
e) better to be single.

Haha, thanks guys. If I ever talked to you about girls before, this question is a bonus. No matter what you say about inner beauty over outer beauty, believe me; every guy goes for the outer beauty first. So what if you have great inner beauty but I can't even bear to look at you? Heck, I wouldn't even want to know you so how would I ever experience that inner beauty of yours? But when the outer beauty's okay, you'd soon find that the inner beauty enhances the outer beauty. An average looking person with inner beauty can be the most beautiful person. But the initial attraction will always be the outward appearance. This can go a long way; maybe we can have a drink over this issue. Members of the opposite sex are most welcomed. =D   

8) Politics (in Malaysia) is

a) a dirty, corrupted game.
b) hopeless.
c) a money game where the rich&powerful wins. 
d) something which doesn't concern me.
e) survival of the fittest.

No doubt politics is dirty and corrupted in Malaysia. Yes, it's even a matter of survival of the fittest. Eat or be eaten. A part of me is dead towards politics; hopeless for that matter. My consistent views though, are always in line with c). You can talk about change, you can start reformed movements, you can even win in elections. But in the end, it's always the rich and powerful who "wins". Justice is not always served the way we want it. Let us not lose heart, for the God of justice said, "Vengeance is mine. I will repay." Anyway, how can you people choose d)?? Yeah, I'm apathethic and ignorant in many respects but this? You must be kidding.

Phew. I beg your pardon for the length but I thought it best to expound on the reasons behind my seemingly inaccurate answers to the 8 questions I made. It's an honest evaluation of myself; I actually put myself in the particular situation and thought hard before deciding the right answer for each question. I hope I put you in a better light now, of the person that I am.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

I Wish I Knew How It Would Feel To Be Free

27th April 2009

It was the day of my freedom; I was released from the clutches that held me for 4 gruelling months. Overwhelmed by feelings of joy, we decided to hold a celebration to commemorate our release. Not forever but a temporal release from studying. It was decided that we all need to let out the grudges we bore within us against the system we live in. And so, karaoke was the solution.

How interesting was it? I would say it was 60-40. Let me justify myself with an elaborate explanation. It was 40% good because I felt so relieved after one week of suffering and toiling. It's this feeling you get, where you have no more worries in the world and you can just sit there, waste time and not feel guilty about it. No offence to my friends who were with me, 60% of the day was bad for me.

Three reasons. Firstly, I spent the night before singing and composing songs with my friends that I lost 70% of my voice the following day. Now, of course, who would enjoy a karaoke session without his full voice to abuse? Secondly, there were too many Mandarin songs sung. I don't understand and I can't read Mandarin. And there's this thing with Mandarin songs; almost 90% of the time, they have this similar rhythm, tune, and flow. Heck, even the MVs were the same! Almost every MV you have this guy and girl kissing or rolling on the bed. I guess to the Chinese, songs are all about love and relationships. Yes, karaoke's not the place for me to appreciate true music but nevertheless, I always have this tendency in me to evaluate a song's musical value.

I was being a couch potato and staring blankly at the screen when I asked myself, "What's the date today?" I realised it was 27th April 2009. I stopped; my heart sank. It was Dad's birthday the previous day. Somehow, I didn't remember. The person who has done so much for me and loved me like no one ever has is now but a memory.

I sat there, feeling disappointed. I didn't want to forget, yet I did. My feelings changed. Apart from being tired, sorrow consumed me. Memories flooded my mind. Birthdays were special to Dad. He had his own trademarked ways of celebrating birthdays in the family. Go away; don't bother me. What good are memories when the person is not around anymore? It just kills me a little more inside everytime this happens.

27th April 2009. Yes, I finally got my freedom. But I never had freedom from my memories.

It hurts. It still hurts.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Luther Vandross - Dance With My Father Again

Back when I was a child 
Before life removed all the innocence 
My father would lift me high 
And dance with my mother and me and then

Spin me around till I fell asleep 
Then up the stairs he would carry me 
And I knew for sure 
I was loved

If I could get another chance 
Another walk, another dance with him 
I'd play a song that would never, ever end 
How I'd love, love, love to dance with my father again

When I and my mother would disagree 
To get my way I would run from her to him 
He'd make me laugh just to comfort me, yeah, yeah 
Then finally make me do just what my mama said

Later that night when I was asleep 
He left a dollar under my sheet 
Never dreamed that he 
Would be gone from me

If I could steal one final glance 
One final step, one final dance with him 
I'd play a song that would never, ever end 
Cause I'd love, love, love to dance with my father again

Sometimes I'd listen outside her door 
And I'd hear her, mama cryin' for him 
I pray for her even more than me 
I pray for her even more than me

I know I'm prayin' for much too much 
But could You send back the only man she loved 
I know You don't do it usually 
But Lord, she's dyin' to dance with my father again 
Every night I fall asleep 
And this is all I ever dream