Tuesday, April 14, 2009

A Walk To Remember

Class of 5sc1

Let me slip against the current.


This was bugging me so I thought I'd just blog it to get it off my mind. This will be a long one.

I lay on my bed and memories flooded my mind. I started recalling all the close friends I made along the walk of life. Friends whom I've lost along the way, and friends I'm still in touch with. I began to see the pattern which friendships take on. Different phases in our lives demand different people. As we move on with life, friendships move on too.

I took an elaborate step by attempting to recall all the close friends I have, starting from primary school. To my surprise, it wasn't difficult to identify them. Back in Standard 3, my close friends were Wong King Mun and Suen Whei Yeap. I still remember our obsession with comic books and drawing our own comics. I also recall the times we went to each other's house to watch Dragonball. Things changed when Whei Yeap achieved excellent results in PTS and went one year ahead of us. The bond was broken in the end. I'm no longer in contact with both of them.

Standard 4 was one of the best times in my life. This was the phase I discovered one of my closest friend, whom I'm still in constant contact with. I still remember Kumara and me being enemies at first because back then, I didn't like Indians for some unknown reason. But somehow, the teacher made us sit together in Standard 4 and so, a beautiful friendship was fostered. I still remember we had a comfortable place at the back of the class, where we plastered notes like "Clarence & Kumara's Territory" to privatize the zone. Happy times.

We move on to Standard 5. If my memories didn't get the time zones wrong, it was William in this phase. I couldn't really remember when this friendship occured but the fact that it has impacted me to a certain extent proves how important it was to me. William frequented my house, where we played computer games and football together. We also had a common interest in tortoises. In fact, he was the one who introduced raring tortoises to me. The interest has certainly lost most of its spark with time, but nevertheless, a dim glow of it appears now and then. After Form 6, we are not in contact anymore.

Then came Standard 6. I had a fairly mixed number of close friends in this phase. What I still vividly remember is the small group I had which comprised of me, Shafiq, Eddie Raj, and Stephen. This was multi-ethnic integration at its highest level. We did most of the stupid things together, like running around the old pondok, galah panjang, jengket, football with plastic bottles and collecting biji sagu. It was also a phase where bottlecaps were a trend, with batu seremban and sorts. There are so much I remember that I couldn't write it all. Totally lost touch with Shafiq after he transferred to Teknik school (or something like that). Same goes for Eddie after we moved into different classes in secondary school.

Well, I was also close to Khael and Andrew Wong. Andrew wasn't someone easy to get along with but somehow, there was a little chemistry between us. This friendship carried on right up to Form 3, as we were in the same class. Kumara was also in that class too. I still remember us going out together and sharing games like Pizza and Heroes of Might and Magic. We were also into guitars in that phase. Timothy also appeared along this phase. And together as junior prefects, we started to build a close bond together.

Timothy was in the same class in Form 4 with me. It was at this phase that I rebuilt the friendship I used to have with Stephen as well. Here, I made close friends such as Yohanand, Kok Chen, Seng Hoe, and Bernard. The crazy times in class were beyond anything that I have and will ever experience. Shit we did in Chemistry and Bio classes, during Moral lessons, plus football during PJ were priceless. I'd never trade those moments and memories for anything in the world. Recently, I've caught up with Stephen and Bernard. In touch with Timothy, Kok Chen, and Seng Hoe once in awhile. Gavin also appeared at this point. Every morning, he would walk to my house and I'd give him a ride on my bike to school. Because of that, we gradually became close and shared common interests in GTA3, The Rasmus, and the like. We also went to the same Add Maths and Physics tuition together. Again, I've yet to catch up with this friend.

Let's do some retro. Michael appeared in Standard 6. We went through ups and downs in our friendship. We went out together and also shared interest in comics and "hamsup" things. However, we fought over issues I could not positively affirm now and didn't speak for few years in secondary school. In the end, I swallowed my pride and approached him at the bus stop one day after school. We talked once more and rebuilt the shattered ruins of our friendship. It wasn't difficult; we succeeded without much effort. In contact with him, now and then.

Form 6 was great too. I was afraid I'd be lonely at first, as most of my friends were going overseas. Thank God, Yohanand, Bernard, and Kumara were all here. It was at this phase that our friendships were further strengthened. It was great to have Yohanand around, what more in prefects this time. The LTC song we wrote, jamming sessions, Sixth Form Night, ping-pong matches, CF; they were all good. Bernard was also my company when I was in LSS5 initially before I changed to art stream. Not forgetting Boon Ann, whom I met in LSS5 and gradually developed a good friendship. I will never forget watching Euro 2008 with him and eating "tong sui kai" food about 3am in the morning. Again, Kumara was around in Form 6, and we had alot of good times. He also tried to get me more into scouting but failed miserably. I just hope I do not lose these friends in years to come.

Adrian also appeared in Form 6. Surprisingly, he was one of the earliest friends I have since Standard 1. Although we were not close, I've always bullied him back then. And even now. Haha. In Form 6, the friendship was built when I changed to Arts stream. With the foundations laid long ago, and being the only few pure Michaelians in the class, it wasn't much of a problem to bond. Class hours, DotA times, songs we shared, chicks we watched, moments in tuition, and chuch activities will always be a part of me I will not erase.

Of course, not forgetting to mention, there's always the church bunch I hanged out with. The childhood friends of mine. Andrew Chun and Vincent were the closest friends I had back then. Almost all the weekends we spent together in church activities and the like; youth meetings, Sunday services, church slumbers, outreaches, our very own sleepovers and various activities. We worked together so often that there was mutual understanding between us. We knew each other's characters inside out. Andrew's in UK now, not hearing from him lately. Vincent, after going off to Nilai, was no longer so close to us. But every once in awhile, when I see him during his breaks, we find that the old is not gone. And when this group of close, childhood buddies moved on, new ones also appeared. These people are the likes of Glenn, Steven, Kian Aun and the bunch I hang out with now. Though we are close in certain ways, the friendship is still very different from the ones I've built long ago. But in time to come, they will also eventually grow to become like those; but again, I have to bear in mind that just like myself, the next phase of life is awaiting some of them.

I regret, I blame myself for not maintaining the friendships I had. As much as I try, I'm a person who lacks initiative. I find it hard to keep constant contact with people, especially if they are far off. However, I'm trying now because I do not want to let my friendships fall along the walk of life again. The few close ones I still have, I'll fight for life to keep them. So, do not be afraid, or feel weird, if I pm you often in MSN or you suddenly receive my SMS one day. It's just because I want to know how you're doing. It's just because the friendship means something to me.

And after all that has been said and done, I find myself alone right now. Yes, the few close friends I have are still close to me in certain ways, especially when we meet up. But they are scattered all over Malaysia, in fact, the world, and things are different when you don't get to see each other that often. Currently, I'm going through another phase of life. But unlike the phases of life I've passed, I'm not able to build any close friendships like I did before. Maybe (hopefully) when I look back in a few years time, I can blog about the close friends I made in university life. For now, I'm just another lonesome dude living in solitude.

And solitude is good...

10 comments:

yohanand said...

I thought I was your only friend :(

Looks like there's no sign of life in ur comments for the post, but hey, solitude is good :P

wadefish said...

yo: now you sound like frollo from hunchback of notre dame. haha. yeah man, it just proves how lonely i am. my friends are not even reading my blog :( you know wat else is good? celibacy. ouh yeah.

katan said...

More of your friends will read your blog if you don't say untrue things on the chat boxes..(hint hint, wink wink)
Enjoy and cherish your childhood friends. Its rare that you have friends from your not so wise years and they are still willing to stick with you. Here's another thought, sometimes God bring people into our lives as we need/require their friendship. So do cherish those who are around now also..(another hint and wink)

wadefish said...

aren't you glad your name is mentioned here? yes, bro. i understand the point you're trying to make. but sometimes, it's so hard to tolerate certain people's character. and knowing me to be a person who doesn't really hold grudges, and someone who's tidak apa with the myriads of characters around him, this specific person must really be one that's VERY hard to tolerate.

adrian said...

hei..how you noe i dint read ur blog?or isit i dint post a comment to u?walau..u gona die for bullying me back den wei..i grow much much freakier n taller muahaha..hehe.btw..i like you..and friends we shall be..always :p

Anonymous said...

those were the days..
*theevani's fav quote*

memories man.. haha..

wadefish said...

adrian: i didnt mean ALL my friends. i meant MOST. yes, i know you're damn tall la. but height's not everything. you dont have the body baby. yeah you're my bff!(gay term) ok maybe not. haha.

kenwooi: lol, weiken. it's thevanei la. haha. still rmb louis' "baik eh, right eh". haha.

Dreams,Memories,Stories,Thoughts said...

hey,clarence!indeed, long time no contact!haahah! now exam is still on.Yea,i agree ,mantain the friendship is important.otherwise,friendship will just like water,flow away from you.Anyhow there are still friends who still care for u even though u all seldom contact.^^
wanshing here!haha,jz set up my english blog.all the best ya!haha,never forget u la

wadefish said...

wanshing! it's been ages. yes, exams are still on, sadly. thanks for remembering someone as insignificant as me. indeed, i believe that there are those who still care in their own little ways. =) link me up, and give your add yea. take care.

Dreams,Memories,Stories,Thoughts said...

hey,i already link you up!^^
y say urself are insignificant?
i don't think so. u are talented!
my website add is dreamemoriestoriesthoughts.blogspot.com