Death And All His Friends

Farewells are not sweet, no matter how near you are leaving to. Life changes. There are crossroads, intersections, in which we either meet, or part.

I guess this is the time of the latter.

Eliza told me, she hates all this. She wants it to go away. She wants everyone to stay. Take away my rational and my cry would be the same.

I can understand how Eliza feels because nobody likes farewells. There are two kinds of loss in this world, which somehow intertwines with each other. One would be the simple farewell, growing up and going our own separate ways. Recently, many of my close friends left for their studies and things were never the same again, apart from one or two exceptional cases. There is no reconciliation needed for the loss, because it's never a loss of a relationship from the moment we part ways. It is a causal loss in which the relationship changes, yet never broken. The changes could either be negative or positive. Enstrangement or the reverse effect. Friendships would usually take on the former change while family relationships, the latter. And as one move on in search of medication for the less desirable change, one would find comfort in new relationships which ultimately leads to the same ending. The process is repeated as one grows and stops only when life ceases.

And death would be the second kind of loss in which all men have to face. This loss is similar to the first in the way that it is a repetition in our lives but with different characters; until we actually play the main cast ourselves. But for this loss, there is no remedy.

Ever since Dad left, Mom has been the dearest person to me, the person I love most. And as I enjoy my final week in Ipoh, my heart grows heavier by day. The comfort of home, the nest that I nurtured in, I will be leaving it. The nest will be empty.

Mom has been the only person to tolerate so much of my nonsense in love. And there is none like her; no care, no love in the world that can compare. I've given her so much problems; my addiction to computer games, accidents after accidents, my studies, my relationships, my lifestyle. But she bore through them with me, her love never changing, loving me for who I am.

Yes, it may just be KL, and I will be back. But I'm going out now, and life will never be the same. It's an independent road, where I slowly move out from under my mother's wings. I must grow up. But just as how it was for my siblings, I pray that this separation would only draw me closer to my mom than I ever was. Yes, it is paradoxical.

At the end of it, goodbyes, partings, farewells, and separations eventually lead to a common, painful event which we call death. Death and all his friends are an inevitable part of life. It doesn't matter, because there's nothing we can do about it but to wake up everyday, knowing this truth, yet rejoicing in the hope of meeting in the world on the other side. This hope is waiting on us; if ever this world fails us.

For since by man came death, by Man also came the resurrection of the dead. For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ all shall be made alive.

I Corinthians 15:21-22