Thursday, September 11, 2008

Why Am I Only Able To Write Blog Posts When It's In The Odd Hours Of The Beautiful Morning.

There are two reasons why I can only blog when it's 4.00 a.m. in the morning.

a) I am nocturnal. I am inspired by the morning air.

b) Due to the extremely advanced WIFI technology of my beloved UM, the connection is only stable during this hour of the day.

Well, there is no clear objective or motive to this post. I am just floating about. So, if half-way down this post, you feel that it is not making sense, or worth reading, stop reading, and blame it on the morning air.

First of all, one of the urgent issues I would like to address would be the "Wadefish" issue. Around April this year, I gave birth to a monster named "Wadefish". From that moment onwards, "Wadefish" was seen everywhere, from Garena to MSN. What really was the problem was this. Nobody could understand nor pronounce the name properly without asking me an explanation. And so, what I get is people calling me wade ( the act of walking through water or mud ) -fish. Also, I have a friend who calls me waterfish, which, literally translated to Cantonese, would be sui yue, which would mean "scapegoat" in English. Confusing, yes, but the point is this. I need to clarify this so people would stop asking the same question so many times that it plots an exponential graph.

Before I proceed, there are 3 options you can choose to go from here.

a) If you're an overly free person, read this. If you're not mentally challenged in any way, and you're able to read and think like a normal human being, I believe this post would clear the air on the etymology of "Wadefish" and the right pronounciation that comes with it. Then, after reading, you can resume playing Who Has The Biggest Brains in Facebook, or resume nudging people in MSN, and need not continue reading this post, which by now, you would have found it to be rather stupid.

b) If you're an overly busy person, but so happened to be here because you love me alot and you're concern with what's latest in my blog, but you just don't have the time to read an old post which after reading you will find that it doesn't make sense, scroll down and you will find a summary which obviously functions to sum everything up, from the etymology of "Wadefish" to the right pronounciation of it.

c) If you're crazy and you know it, do all the above. *ClapClap*

Wadefish - The Etymology
The origins of the word came during enlightenment which I achieved when I spent my time meditating on how to make the world a better place for you and me to live in, and how to promote a cause in the world and improve the moral standards of humans at the same time. The moment of revelation created this urge to lessen the usage of words considered foul, rude, rough, uncouth, discriminating and denigrating in nature and at the same time, promote the noble cause of conserving animals, working with WWF ( World Wide Fund for Nature ) in achieving this purpose.

But how can this be done? As everyone knows, the act of killing two birds with one stone is logically impossible. And English came up with this illogical metaphor just to sound impressive, but then again, it illustrates the point to the point ( no pun intended ). And so, together with the board of directors, we brain-stormed for, well, quite some time I would say ( I don't want to exaggerate it so that this would sound real ) before we eventually came up with a brilliant idea on how to pull this off. The idea was to have people around the world to participate in a conscious effort to distort words deemed "unholy" by replacing them with names of animals facing the dangers of extinction.

I chose to distort the classic, most notorious, and the mother of all "unholy" words. Now, I can barely remember what "What The F*ck" is, for "What The Fish" has completely dominated the war I wage against the terrorism of words. And so, after a little adaptation, some adjustment, and a few touch-ups, "What The Fish" evolved into the now famous but often misconstrued and mispronounced "Wadefish".

There. That's a little too long for a summary, but I guess I'll have it. Why did I start the post with "First of all" when there is no "Secondly" following? Why did I say "one of the urgent issues" when there are no other issues I wish to address in this post? And why did I even mention that there is "no clear objective or motive to this post" when obviously I made a contradicting statement in saying that I wish to clarify the "Wadefish" issue in this post? Lastly, "I am nocturnal. I am inspired by the morning air" is a paradox, I just noticed. Now, that's what we call TRIVIA, baby!

And, voila! Another masterpiece creates herself in the wee hours of the day.

I never could have written this any other time of the day.


cσиsтαиcε cнι said...

am crazy, and did all of the above. ;)

adrian said...

way to go dude..i stil rmb tht wadefish..has been a common word here also.. hail to cla^^

Dormiens said...

Well, you're still waidfish to me. Lol.

wadefish said...

constance : as expected. =)

adrian : oi, bro. is that you man, MJB. don't just put adrian la. i know like gazillions of adrians.

dormiens : oh, you stubborn one. and after all my effort. grrr.

pismayka said...

haha..your post's amusing (i mean it in a positive way :] ) and hi5 constance! i'm crazy too.

meandHim said...

oooh. we are all crazy. yay!

what de fish! lol.
i always though it was waid fish. xD

Anonymous said...

hahahahahahahahahaha all hail the nature loving Clarence!

wadefish said...

pismayka : my post's informational, my friend.

meandhim : gosh, alot of crazy people around.. yes, this post helps eh.

peregrintook : haha. hail me, i'm animal-lover. does it sound wrong? hm..

Dormiens said...

Hey bro, thanks for the birthday wish. :)

Adrian Benjamin Lim said...

yo bro..3rd college adrian here