Movie Carnival 2009 was a great experience. With a group of friends, I signed up for this 10-days-job. Tiring but nonetheless, every moment was worth it. Throughout these 10 days, I learnt many valuable lessons. Lessons on life which I thought I already knew.
If you've seen some of the photos I uploaded in Facebook, you might be wondering what my job actually was. Well, my job scope actually covers the movie patrol; none of that which you saw in those photos. Basically, I go around with 2 other colleagues, playing games, asking movie trivias, and giving out freebies; including free movie tickets! But hey, it wasn't an easy job. In fact, it was tough and embarassing. Especially when there were no people around and you have to talk to the air yelling "Free stuff!" It also pissed me off when people treated us with the disgust they usually lash on a salesperson. Some even walk away without looking at us, as if we were invisible. But I have the last laugh. You stupid people missed out on all the freebies. You people will never enjoy any good and free stuff in life. You will always live with a protective shell around you. Uneducated kiasu cynics. Go live in Singapore.
And throughout this period, I got to know many people. Call me a "katak di bawah tempurung" but I never realised the culture now is so different. Quoting Bob Dylan, the times, they really are a-changing. Smoking is no longer a taboo (even for girls) and tattoos are as common as piercings. I'm not stereotyping, I'm not discriminating, but I'm living on principles. I don't consider smoking morally wrong; there's not even any direct verses in the Bible which forbid smoking. But being a Christian, I do not want to be a stumbling block to people around me. Plus, smoking kills. Yes, I'm a Christian and I'm not ashamed to be one. So, when I found out that both my colleagues smoke, I had to detach myself from the group; often joining my friends in the Superhero Factory whenever there's free time.
Now, don't get me wrong. They were nice and fun people and it was great knowing them. However, through the course of our interaction, I came to a conclusion we were people from different worlds. And so, with a barrier in between, the friendship could never go any deeper than a superficial one. Nevertheless, I would always consider the paths worth crossing.
Throughout this period, I also realised that only by living together will you discover how one differs from the other. 5 of us, we were living under the same roof; 5 with very different characters and believe me, there were unhappiness even for the short time. However, I learnt to give and take. Though I may not say it quite as much, I always knew who my true friends were. Here, I want to especially thank Kin Wai. In the way you treated me and Wee Keng, I can't help but be moved by your sincerity. I never knew you quite so well before this but I think I do now; a little more at least. You are a true friend. You have a character that I salute.
Many years have passed, many people have changed. And I've seen many principles compromised and slain by the unrelenting peer pressure. But the core of the problem never was the people. The problem lies with the individual. Nothing is beyond control. It's a choice. I do not want to be conformed to this world. I want be transformed by the renewing spirit of the mind. But how can I be transformed when I'm a weak and struggling Christian? And hence, I fear for myself; how long can I live on my principles? Will I too change one day? Will I see myself walking down the road of conformity in years to come? Uncertainty is the heart of fear. And fear is the heart of every man.
I want the power to change; for better, not for worse. The power to change not only me but the people around me. I want to conform without compromising my principles and values. I want to be a Jew to the Jews, a Gentile to the Gentiles. I want to conform in the way that I may have the power to transform.
I want the city on the hill to be seen.
